Buckwheat Fuckup

I mean, the name kinda says it all and I was none-too-careful when measuring the ingredients. It went something like: start sauteing some garlic; when it browns, throw in the firm tofu. Spray with Sriracha an amount you think you can handle. When things start looking done, add in soba noodles and sliced zucchini, plus some additional oil and some vinegar. Let it cook on medium-ish for five minutes, stirring constantly. Consider adding additional Sriracha; actually add in additional Sriracha; regret it immediately. Try to rectify it by adding a dash of sugar and salt. Call it tasty enough and decide you can't fuck it up anymore than you already have.

Oh, maybe I forgot to mention the first fuckup? I wanted to give it a little something to cook in besides oil. So I surveyed the kitchen and it went something like this: Vanilla soy milk? No, too sweet. Coconut milk? No, did that a few days ago. Olive oil? No, too much oil? Mustard? See that Sriracha? Ketchup? Too easy? Balsamic vinegar? I think I read that vinegar goes in Asian cooking, what the hell why not... oh whoops that smells not like what I'm trying to cook at all. Oh well, add some sesame seeds, turn off the heat, mix one more time, and serve.

It actually tasted great - I think the vinegar mostly cooked off because the heat was up a bit. Should you cook it? Probably not. You aren't me.