The Schwartz, apparently, is not with me

Rather, Yogurt and I don't get along when cooking. Today, I bring you a failure. Do not try and cook this at home. I won't even give you a recipe, only a basic description, so the casual browser is not confused. This isn't the first time I've failed with yogurt. E and I attempted to cook some Indian food going off of half-remembered recipes; it used Greek yogurt and it tasted awful. Nearly the whole of the meal was a complete failure - a runny-and-chunky sauce with raisins and almonds served over charred spanish rice with a glass of horrible red wine. The spinach was pretty good, though. It was a traumatic experience, but not enough.

Pancake looks pretty good, non? Tastes like shit, though. Problem, that. Pancakes shouldn't taste like shit. It isn't entirely the yogurts fault, mind you. I also decided to add the smallest amount of fresh ground clove I could manage as it goes well with cinnamon and I figured the bitter kick it provides would also pair with the bit of bitter in yogurt. I used a single fragment, ground via mortar. Instead of getting sweet, sweet love between a yogurt and clove, I got an all-out orgy of acids and bitters in my mouth. I was forced to hose the place down with a mixture of honey, banana, and generous gulps of water. Also, the pancake was far too thick. This one below was after the first; I added some more almond milk to thin out the batter and hopefully hide some taste.

Guess what? It didn't work, not at all. On the plus side, my coffee was pretty good and the banana was just-ripe. To catalog my failure, and give you an idea of what not to do, this is a brief description of how the mess happened. I have a vegan pancake recipe I adore, which I wanted to cook. I did it with spelt flour (100% spelt instead of a buckwheat/pastry mix) and I tried a substitute of 50% yogurt for 50% of the almond milk. Doesn't really work, especially with greek yogurt. Next time, if there is a next time, maybe 25% russian yogurt for 25% of the milk? Maybe I'll just give up an stick to yogurt in bread.